I Can Hear Me Singing to Me in My Sleep

Let me start by thanking those who routinely check this site even though I'm terrible at posting. Waffle this is for you, I'll try to do better.

I'm not sure there's a lot to take away from this. It's kind of just a neat story at this point. There may be more if I were to explain the whole back story, but that's not going to happen, suffice to say for those who know of my Kenya plans this does not affect them, it's a completely separate issue.

Have you ever had a night where you were exhausted and new you NEEDED to sleep, but as soon as you went to lay your head down some thought bursts into your head and you're suddenly overwhelmed with ideas and mental struggles that need to be sorted out? I'm sure you have.

For me last night was one such occasion, something wonderful and terrible happened that I won't really get into because to do it justice you would still be reading this in February. The summation is that I had spent all day Sunday in a car and thought I had worked through this thing, but Sunday night as I went to go to bed, it hit me for real. I put a pair of sandals on and grabbed a long sleeve shirt and went for a walk at 11:30 PM. As I walked down our dirt driveway talking to God I looked at the moon and addressed it as Him. Through that walk I talked out my frustrations, saw God create some amazing analogies about His love and presence in my life through the moon, the road, and some fireflies. The moon became a representation of God, I looked at it, I was humbled by it and it was showing me the way. The road became like my life, or what I want my life to be, a long straight path that was aimed directly at the moon. The fireflies reminded me of what I was struggling with.

At one point in this journey I thought I was settled and ready to go back to bed, the only problem was I was a ways up the road. By the time I had gotten mostly back to the house I was all worked up again and had to turn back around. Thankfully, it didn't take me as long this time to remind my self of what God was trying to say to me, "You are not alone, I will direct your path, that which you've been desiring is a part of my creation which is supposed to help you worship and glorify me."

So one again I got the message, but now as I turned to go to bed how was I going to keep that perspective in my head. One idea came to mind, a chorus...

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in his wonderful face,
And the things of Earth
Will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His Glory and Grace.

This chorus ran through my head and I began to sing it repeatedly. Not only did the task keep my mind mostly occupied, but the words held everything that God was trying to teach me. As I walked back singing only a few thoughts made it through my mind, the first was "wouldn't it be cool if the fireflies were dimmed," I turned and looked to see that they were out completely. I sang a little louder. My next thought was a bit of a downer, "how am I going to keep this singing going and fall asleep?" It was a bit strange, but I knew I had to try and sing myself to sleep.

Let me tell you it's a difficult task but the trick to to know when you need to stop singing so you can drift off and when you need to pick the singing back up so you don't run away with your thoughts.

Now I'm stuck trying to figure out how to close this. I suppose we could all join hands and sing the song a few thousand times. But rather than that (it's a logistical nightmare) just remember the words and the message, God loves you and if you seek him whole heartedly not only will you find him, but you'll find that everything else pales in comparison.

Thanks again for reading, I hope to put a Kenya update real soon...